Dancing in the Sky: Ancient Avians helped shape our culture.
Written by Jorge Tsudoku
My colleagues have been reluctant to look for the roots of human culture terrestrially. They claim our civilization finds its origins in the stars. I must disagree. I believe they are right to look up, but they looked too far. I looked up too, but I didn’t see spaceships and aliens, I saw flocks of seagulls, murders of crows, solitary eagles, and speedy falcons. I suggested in my last book, Dancing in the Sky, that we owe much of our culture to the bird species. Singing, dancing, flight, intricate mating rituals they all came from birds. I argue in my book that the evidence for my claims exists, albeit, in very diluted forms, in our contemporary songs and dances. I received a lot of push-back for these claims, yet I feel vindicated by a recent discovery in the Swiss Alps of an entombed ancient Avian mummy and a cryptic tablet that suggests that our origins are extra-pedestrial.
The new species of avian has not been identified, but it has been carbon dated, putting an age of the mummified bird at approximately twenty thousand years old, predating every known human civilization. While the information on this “new” avian species is still in its discovery phase, a lengthy inscription on the sarcophagus has been partly deciphered and suggests that intelligent ancient avians were responsible for significant contributions to human culture. Only a few fragments of the deciphered sarcophagus text have been leaked.
Last of your Kind
We will fly onward,
Now with High Spirits.
Because of you, we have us.
The vitality that defined you has passed,
but your torch is still sturdy, so we offer our fire,
that we may become like you and carry you forth.
The Sarcophagus Text (Translated by Gish Gallop)
The text is cryptic. What does it really mean, and who wrote it? It is written in a crude Sanskrit, still recognizable to most Mesopotamian scholars. It can’t be known who the scribes were, but I believe it was written in reverence to the last intelligent avian who they immortalized through mummification. This avian was representative of an intelligent species who taught the ancient people about the world. Therefore, the purpose of this tomb was to thank them for the gifts their knowledge has brought. It is suggested in the text that humanity is to become the new torchbearer of civilization and culture until one day we too run out of vitality and have to pass our knowledge onto the felines who will take our place when we die off. I would expect a similar embalming and mummification process to accompany our last human than the one we afforded to the last ancient avian.
Avian influence still penetrates our culture, yet many do not recognize it. It is in our music, our dances, our costumes, our theatres, in our pass times, and hobbies too! For example, birdwatching might seem very unreasonable, yet it comes from a deeply ingrained psychological program that predisposes us to revere birds. The acid dance (momentary flight) is also quite irrational, but if viewed through an avian-centric lens, the purpose is clear; the dancer is quelling an overpowering urge to fly, borne, no doubt, from the liberating effects of LSD on the brain, allowing the user to tap into their early-modern ancient avian inspired brain to ill effect.
Today’s bird species pale in comparison to their great ancient avian ancestors, but the elegance and gracefulness of the ancients’ essence may still be understood through contemporary bird song and dance. I have tried, in my book Dancing in the Sky, to understand human culture through the behaviour of contemporary avians, but perhaps a further study might investigate the similarities between contemporary avians and humans with the purpose of drawing some general conclusions about the culture of this newly discovered ancient avian race.
Remember to find my book Dancing in the Sky on Amazon, it’s available at Chapters too. I will be doing a signing at the university bookstore soon, but please don’t show up if you haven’t bought, or do not plan on buying the book. I will announce the date on Twitter. Tweet. Tweet.
Tsudoku, J. (2023) Dancing in the Sky. Mesopotamia Press.
I pity the fool who made it this far.