While recently at a restaurant, I received what could have been the worst service of my life. I won’t go into details; I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had this experience, but needless to say I didn’t tip. Why would I? I barely wanted to pay for what I received (they called it food, but I’m still not convinced). On the way out the door, I heard my server speaking with another staff member of the restaurant, and she was speaking about how cheap and irritating I was. Alright, I’ll admit, the service industry can suck for wages, but tips are not mandatory, hence the name.

Now before all the hard-working servers come down on me for being ungracious and unfair, let me explain my point of view. The idea of the tip originated long, long ago, and was a gesture of appreciation from a customer to a server for service that far exceeded expectations. Over time, the gratuity has become an expectation of wait-staff, who in many cases are forced to share their hard-earned tips with behind-the-scenes staff in restaurants, who also (in many cases) get paid more than the front-of-house.

Hold up. So as a customer, I am expected to pay extra for bad service from an under-paid server who is frustrated that a portion of their tips go to co-workers who get paid more than they do. There seems to be a systematic problem with this situation. Firstly: why are alcohol servers getting paid less than minimum wage? Because they make tips. But those tips are divided between other staff that are getting paid more than the servers. So how is this supposed to justify them getting paid less? In short, it doesn’t.

Managers at restaurants need to put their foot down and realize that the legislation mandated by the province for the minimum wage of alcohol servers is unfair and irresponsible when compounded by the tip-sharing policies of some restaurants. Servers should be entitled to keep all the tips that they earn.

No, that doesn’t mean I’m going to tip every time. I like being old-fashioned. If your job sucks and you don’t want to be there, find a new job. There are plenty to go around, but a lot of them suck without the extra wage-earning potential. If you’re happy serving people and do it well, making sure they are looked after and appearing joyful even if you have to lie through your teeth, then you will earn that extra cash. It’s how things were done in the old days, and this stigma of mandatory tipping is ridiculous.

As a customer, I would like to get my money’s worth when I dine out. I have no problem leaving 15 – 20 per cent tip when I get good service, or even more than that when the service is exceptional. I am not, however, tipping the cook. The cook is paid well, and they don’t have to cater to my every want and desire. I am also not tipping the dishwasher, nor the hostess, nor anyone else unless I hand the cash to them. I am tipping the person solely responsible for my happiness on the premises: the server. I am tipping their attentiveness, their attitude, their overall demeanour, and their respectfulness towards me as a customer. Anyone in the service industry knows that the rate of gratuity generally directly corresponds to the service provided.

Suggesting a tip amount on your debit/credit machine is also a terrible practice. When the options come up, I want to be able to determine the exact amount of tip I am going to give, which may not be 15, 20, or 30 per cent. It may be 16 per cent. It may be 22 per cent. It will be whatever I determine the service was worth. The social awkwardness of not selecting a pre-set percentage amount and taking the extra time to type in my own amount detracts from my experience at your restaurant. It also makes for awkward negotiations with the waiting server, who has other business (and potential increases in tip opportunities) to attend to.

If it were up to me, things would go back to the old-fashioned way (again, I’m rather old-timey, but that doesn’t necessarily mean backwards) especially in light of the new wage legislation. To any servers out there who are responsible for my table: I’m not a hard-ass. As long as the food is hot when it arrives, my drink is filled, and you are courteous, you’ll get a tip from me. That tip is for you: not for the kitchen staff, nor the others working in the restaurant. They are paid more for a reason, but that extra mile you went earned you extra dollars. It should stay in your pocket.

Managers: take a lesson. Yes, taking away the shared tips will disgruntle your kitchen staff, but your servers will be very appreciative. Pay everyone what they are worth and stop tip-sharing in restaurants when there is such a massive disparity between servers and other employees’ wages. Gratuities are a show of appreciation for exceptional service. They are not mandatory, and they are certainly not for people that I, as a customer, do not even see. If I want to thank the chef for an especially fantastic meal, I will send a tip to the kitchen. If the host/hostess was especially pleasing, they will receive a separate tip. It’s a simple system, and a fairer one given the recent (and in my opinion particularly ridiculous) policy on the minimum wage.